Spending a Week in Darkness

9567e33adfe173a1906820467fd9d81c.jpgThis has been a rough week for me, and it took a huge toll on my walk with Christ. Stressed about money, about providing for my wife and I, about lack of work and whether or not Christmas was going to happen (gift wise, at least) put in a deep depression and laziness.

I put off all I could. I slept in, failed to really focus on school work and barely made it through my last week this semester, didn’t focus on dishes or housework and spent a good chunk of time just gaming and zoning out. I didn’t want to move or do anything.

In truthfulness, I allowed the Enemy’s lies to have an effect on me, and I am ashamed that I didn’t run to God. I let him take over and invade my life and my thoughts, saying extremely negative things to myself and making myself feel worthless. It was an extremely dark place that, if it wasn’t for my wife, could’ve ended up terribly for all involved.

Thankfully, I’m back. Though I didn’t deserve it, God revealed His Grace and Faithfulness in our lives and we are on slightly better footing.

May God be praised for all that He has done and all the He plans to do.

Praise be unto the LORD Most High.

“Thou art my God, and I will praise thee: thou art my God, and I will extol thee.” – Psalm 118:28

6 thoughts on “Spending a Week in Darkness

  1. I’ve had depression too, so I understand how you were feeling. But I disagree that you were lazy and failed to embrace God. I view depression as a turning inward. It deeps a person and in the process actually deepens your relationship with God. I think that’s what happened to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Are you in school? We’ve been there with three kids in tow! Super kudos to your wife!! Besides, what are your practical “expectations” a Christmas celebration? Hang in there!! Satan’s lies are truly worthless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am in school. My second time around. I have a degree in Music Education and am currently pursuing my degree in Biblical and Theological studies. I’ll have a post coming up this week regarding Christmas celebrations and the miracle of Christmas. Thank you for your encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

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