How we failed God…

We nearly lost the fight. It seemed like everywhere we turned, the enemy was upon us. Every path, mountain range, valley, rock and crevice echoed their cry. We were surrounded.

It wasn’t sheer force that helped us win. It wasn’t luck either. You’re going to think I’m crazy, but it was a visible yet invisible army.

I know. Crazy.

But it’s true.

We had been cornered by the enemy, and we were at a complete loss with the army in front of us and sheer rock to our backs, going ninety degrees up. There was nowhere to go.

Suddenly, one voice cried out amongst our severely depleted ranks, “Elohim, if you are there, and if you have truly blessed us, then help us!” From that cry came several other cries from the soldiers as the enemy army quickly advanced, each one a variation of that first desperate cry. I’m surprised even now to recall my own voice among the ones crying to our God. But it worked. Or rather, he answered.

Out of nowhere, there came a rush of wind and we were all nearly knocked off our feet. Once we had regained our stances, we looked around to find a massive force surrounding us, but it wasn’t our enemy. It was an army greater than anything we had ever seen. Yet we couldn’t see it.

The army was seemingly translucent, see-through, barely corporeal. Their weapons and armor gleamed in the afternoon sun and reflected the light on the mountain face behind us and on each one of us. Not only was the army surrounding us, but each of us was accompanied by a formidable warrior, stone-faced, ready for battle.

At once, we raised our battle cry. Emboldened by the vision of this angelic army, we rushed toward the oncoming enemy, fighting our way through their ranks. As we fought, we could see our companions fighting alongside us and all around, taking down ten or twenty of the enemy soldiers for every one that each of us killed. Before long, the enemy was defeated, with each of us left standing, unscathed, our angelic companions gone.

All was silent on the battle field. There was no victory cry raised. No shouts or praises of thankfulness to God for his help. Just silence.

I was the first to fall to my knees. As I hit the ground, tears streamed down my eyes. I could barely see anything through the flood of tears, as I was filled with such emotion.

In the moment, I couldn’t tell you what that emotion was. I had thought it was joy and relief flooding over me after the rush of adrenaline died away. But now I know that it was guilt. I was genuinely remorseful for what happened, for what we did to our enemy. I still am.

You see, it’s not about whether or not God had blessed us. It’s not about whether or not he has truly chosen us to lead the world back to him. It’s how we represent him with the blessing and guidance he has given us.

Yes, he assisted us, and assists us even today. But we paid the ultimate price for what we did.

We’ve been given a great gift from God, a gift that we have been commanded to share with the world to bring it back to him. But we’ve misused that gift. We’ve abused it. And we have cut down and ostracized so many people as a result and our reputation, and most importantly, his reputation, has been marred and damaged.

We are his representatives, his ambassadors. And we failed.

Now we must return to him, seek his forgiveness and blessing yet again, and ask for the strength to properly use the gift he has given us.

God forgive us.

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